Tips for Marriage Counseling
by Vivek Sharma
With the changing time marriage counseling and marriage therapy is gaining more
popularity amongst couples. They want to give a last chance to revive their
marriage before scrapping it completely. This has led to birth of many marriage
counselors and marriage therapists. But the market is also flooded with many
unreliable and fruitless marriage counselors and marriage therapists. So make
sure you are going to best marriage counselor or therapist available in the
market.
The most common mistake made by the couples is that they go to general
psychological therapist who has no experience in marriage counseling. It has
been seen frequently that the person concerned first goes in for counseling
alone. Thereafter he brings her mate for the marriage counseling or therapy.
This could deal a final blow to your breaking marriage. All those therapists
focusing on individual therapy never tend to become reliable marriage counselors
and therapists. The reason behind this is that individual therapy is completely
opposite to marriage therapy. So it is advisable to select a counselor who has
excelled in field of marriage counseling.
Always keep in mind that it is not wise to bring your mate to that therapist
with whom you already share a therapeutic relationship. This could generally
hamper the therapist judgment due to their closeness or bonding with you and
make him or her bias regarding marital issue. Always go for the counselor who
doesn't share any relationship with either one of you. This makes the marriage
therapist more open to hear and evaluate both sides of the marital story. It
could strike a balance between the two in the beginning only.
It is always said to be wise for having a phone interview with the marriage
counselor and therapist before making an appointment. If that is not feasible
then use your first meeting as question answer session. You should ask a number
of questions to the therapist, as it is you who can save your marriage from the
disaster. If you find that therapist is not able to answer your queries with
ease, and then go in for someone else with the experience.
Always ask the questions regarding the marriage counselor's background and
reputation in the beginning. Try to assess his or her approach towards
relationships - is it salvaging or dissolving them? If a marriage counselor or
therapist suddenly jumps to one side of the question it is advisable to look for
someone else. The marriage counselor should be neutral and never tell you that
he or she is against divorce. God forbid, it shouldn't happen with you but if it
happens, then marriage therapist should guide you both in your decision-making
and alteration if required.
At any point during the meeting with marriage counselor you sense biasness or
unfairness, simply change the therapist. Marriage counselor's main aim is to
give equal support and attention to both the partners. He or she should be
objective enough to highlight your problems and issues without making you feel
"right" or "wrong". Quite often you tend to feel that therapist is pointing at
you again and again which can't be comfortable always. If you judge that it's
you who is left alone and not heard frequently then it is sensible to look out
for another marriage counselor. It is not good to be pointed out as a bad guy or
girl always. The worse thing that can happen to your bad marriage is a bad
marriage therapist.
About the Author: The
author is budding web content writer and experienced in writing quality content
for various websites. You can view
his blog
for more information.
Source of this article:
www.goarticles.com
|